Changes
by KouenTaisa
Summary: They've each had times when they've chose each other over the job. Now, when it seems their relationship as partners and friends are falling apart, they need something to change, but this isn't the change that either of them intended to happen. Likely EO.
1. The Background To Falling Out

Author: My first Law and Order: SVU fanfiction. This was written around... four or five in the morning. As of now, I am working on the other chapter and have been up all night. Go figure. I thought I would post this before I headed off to Western Humanities to see how many hits I would receive before Psychology. So, I hope that you do enjoy this.

**Changes  
Prologue: The Background To Falling Out**

"You've yelled at me enough, don't you think?" Olivia turned, narrowing her eyes at Elliot. They were in the House, having an argument over the latest case that had been handed to them. He'd been raging all day, the 'impossible to deal with Elliot' that came out sometimes. Fin and Munch were watching from their desks, just seconds from intervening. It wouldn't make a difference, anyways.

"If you'd just listen to me-" he shot back, following her down the hallway. This case wasn't difficult, just damaging. Four children dead, and a possible two more children were missing from their homes. The parents were either dead or didn't care, and a single teenager on the rampage was the cause of it all.

"I have been listening to you, Elliot, and it's getting old." she turned, just about to get on the elevator. Fin and Munch were moving in behind her partner, looking worried. The fighting had been bad lately, but there hadn't been a knock down, drag out like this in a long time between Elliot and Olivia. It was disconcerting.

"Then why aren't you here?!"

Olivia paused, her hand hovering just inches above the button she needed to press. Fin and Munch had stopped behind Elliot, confused and curious. Don Cragen was standing at the door of the work room, throwing cautious glances at his detectives.

It wasn't supposed to be this way, but Olivia didn't need anyone to tell her that. Elliot was having it rough, even with the new baby Eli in the world, things still weren't going so grand. She knew that her partner regretted a lot of things and wanted so much to change, but change wasn't happening fast enough and his patience happened to be wearing thin.

She stepped away from the elevator, turning to look at Elliot. Why did this have to be so hard? Being friends had been so easy at one point… and being partners had always been a flawless execution. Why now, when so much stress was present, was these hard earned relationships falling into the smallest of cracks?

"Elliot, I am here." she whispered softly. Her brown eyes searched his face, barely connecting with his baby blues. All the color was gone from his skin, even the angry red that she had seen just moments before. His hands were still forming fists, but now they seemed more relaxed than previous.

"… just go home, Benson." he ground out, turning from her.

Olivia couldn't understand the exchange, but she let it go without a fight. If he wanted to talk, he would come find her later. He always did, if it was worth talking about. Stepping into the elevator, she watched as Fin and Munch headed back to their desks. They had just exited the hallway when the doors came to a close.

"Elliot, what's your problem?" Fin asked, watching the other detective with curious, and protective eyes. Olivia meant a lot to him, almost like a sister. He'd seen her take a lot of shit in their days together, and lately, more and more of it was coming from the one person she had always trusted to bag the shit and hide it away.

"There's a not problem, Fin-"

"Then why yell at Olivia so loud the whole precinct can hear?" Munch added, sitting down at his desk.

Elliot fell silent, sitting down at his desk without even an attempt to reply. He didn't know what was wrong, or if a problem even existed. This morning, he'd woken up semi-happy, until Eli started crying and Kathy started bitching and his other kids woke up with attitude problems.

It had been the horrible start to a Monday morning, even worse than usual.

Sitting at his desk, Elliot sighed heavily and ran his hand across his face. He would have to go apologize to Olivia, but later sounded a hell of a lot better than now.

At least, that's what he kept telling himself.

Instead, it played out with Elliot never making it to Olivia's apartment that night to apologize.

Fin and Munch didn't seem too worried, after all, everything usually went back to semi-normal state by the next day.

Cragen figured that letting them fight was the best way to get some things out, in the end.

Elliot never gave apologizing a second thought until Tuesday morning, after he'd fed Eli and dealt with bitchy Kathy again.

He hadn't tried to call his partner, or go to her home. After all, he'd see her at work in just a little while and they would be back out on the field together. It would be flawless work until his patience ran thin and he was left yelling again.

Things weren't going to be so easy.

"Elliot, have you talked to Olivia?"

Cragen's voice carried across the precinct, causing Elliot to look up from his paper work. It was only now that he noticed the lack of a female presence across from him.

"Not today, Captain. Have you tried calling her?"

"No answer."

Elliot glanced over at the clock, surprised to see that it was almost lunch.

Where was Olivia?

"Take your lunch break and go by her apartment, Elliot. She might still be upset." Cragen advised.

Stabler nodded, and without another word he got up and grabbed his coat. It wasn't cold outside, but it definitely looked like rain.

It took him twenty minutes to get to Olivia's apartment, and he praised how good the traffic had been. He still had a little of his lunch break left. There was enough time to sort out a small bit of their problems and get back to the office to finish up paperwork before the trial tomorrow.

Elliot couldn't understand just how complicated things would be.

Making it to her door, he knocked.

"Liv, it's me, Elliot. Come open the door!" he called out, knocking again.

Five minutes, and numerous knocks later, he didn't hear a sound.

Something, however, coached him to go in.

Elliot reached down, turning the doorknob. The door came open, to his immense surprise. Olivia always locked her door.

"Liv?" he called out again, stepping cautiously into the apartment.

Nothing seemed extraordinarily out of place. He moved forward, letting the door close behind him. He walked through the living room, glancing around for any sign of his partner. Four minutes later, having searched most of the open areas, all he had left was her bedroom, and as private as that happened to be, his gut was telling him to go in.

Elliot was a man who followed his gut instinct.

"Liv?" he barely pushed on the door, watching as it gently, and yet very slowly, started to open.

His heart jumped into his throat.

For all of his training as a cop, he wasn't prepared for this.

His senses were failing him, and there was nothing he could do to restore them in a timely manner.

If only he could remember how to breathe.


	2. How The Mighty Have Fallen

Author: Well, this was quick. The next chapter is already in the works, so don't worry. Does anyone want to try to guess what happened?

**Changes  
One: How The Mighty Have Fallen, And With Them Their Ships**

Elliot believed that he had never been so frustrated in his entire life than at that exact moment.

He was trying to keep his eyes on Olivia, falling the gurney that the doctors and nurses were shepherding down the hall. His hands were trembling with each part of her body that he got to see before the doctors would get in his line of vision again.

Almost fifteen minutes earlier he'd found Olivia on the floor of her apartment, lying in a pool of what he assumed was her own blood. Her skin was the palest he'd ever remembered seeing, except for on those who were already dead. Her lips were already turning a light blue, indicating that she wasn't breathing all that well, if at all. She had on the same clothes of the day before, but they were almost indistinct under all the blood.

When his brain had finally kicked back into gear, he had called immediately for a bus while checking her vitals.

Now, here at the hospital, he felt extremely useless as he tried to keep her within his sight. The doctors were yelling for things, most of which he didn't understand. He had heard the command for blood and an OR, but besides that everything else was lost on him.

She wasn't even awake to defend herself.

"Elliot?"

His head jerked up, blue eyes training on the four figures almost racing toward him. Fin was at the lead with Casey close to his side. Munch and Cragen were bringing up the rear, but each and everyone of them looked so… unsure.

"How is she?" Casey asked, stopping just an arm's length away from Elliot. He shrugged his shoulders, trying not to let his desperation or his frustration show.

"They haven't come out yet," he replied after a moment when it seemed that everyone, and perhaps everything, hinged on his answer.

Fin sighed, turning on the spot to see how the others were taking it. Munch looked worried, and Casey looked almost devastated. Cragen, however, had a look on his face that Elliot couldn't place. Not really.

He wasn't surprised when it was his boss that asked the next question. "Did you see the extent of her injuries?"

Elliot paused, shaking his head after he let the whole scene play out in his mind again. All he could remember was blood, blood, and amongst the see of blood was the pale face of his partner.

"I couldn't see anything pass the blood."

That's all it took for the room to become silent.

"Mr. Stabler?"

Elliot's head jerked up, his eyes quickly landing on the doctor was moving away from the double doors. Everyone else around him moved into action as well, sitting up, or as it was for a tired Melinda, waking up.

He moved without thought, getting up and walking to the doctor. His mind was on one thing.

"How is she?"

The doctor looked at everyone, watching the different phases of awareness on their faces. Elliot was the last person he looked at.

"Your partner suffered a lot of damage. Most of the blood stemmed from the wounds on her chest and abdomen, as well as some lacerations to her legs and back. By the time you found her, and she arrived here, most of her blood was likely on the floor of her apartment."

"You can't be sayin`-" Fin interrupted, almost jumping from his seat.

"No, she is not dead. Far from it, after five hours worth of surgery. Mr. Stabler finding her when he did saved her life. Just an hour more and she would've bled completely out on that floor. I'd said she has a rough recovery ahead. There was a fracture to her right arm, and the deeper wounds will take time to heal."

"She'll be okay, though, right?" Elliot asked, feeling lighter with the knowledge.

The doctor nodded, watching as everyone visibly relaxed.

"She's still under the affects of the anesthetic, but she was asking for you in the recovery room."

That almost made Elliot run straight pass the doctor and to Olivia. Only, he had one problem. He didn't know where the hell she was.

"Can I see her?"

Once again the doctor nodded, looking at the others. "It's best that she only has one visitor at a time, right now."

Casey nodded, locking eyes with Elliot for a moment. "You go on and see her. We'll be down here waiting."

That was all the encouragement Elliot needed to follow the doctor to his partner.

Facing her, however drugged up she may be, was a different matter. Elliot entered the room, his heart pounding in his chest as he laid his blue eyes on her. What he could see of her was bandaged, even her right arm that was also resting in a sling. She looked fragile, but as much as she had earlier.

At least this time he could breathe when he looked at her face.

Elliot stepped farther into the room, letting the door shut behind him without a care in the world. He only had eyes for his partner, in the end.

"Liv?" he asked softly, stepping up to her bedside. Her eyes squeezed shut before they started to slowly flutter open. Brown reflected only disorientation, and perhaps the after effects of lingering pain.

"… El…? What… what happened…?" her voice was raspy, reflecting all of her emotions, and most of her doubt. Elliot had never felt so bad in his life, but today was a first for many things.

"Sshh… it's alright, Liv… you're alright…" he muttered, reaching out with trembling fingers to brush against her cheek. Unconsciously, she turned into the touch, her eyes falling shut for a brief moment. His heart clenched in his chest.

"Liv… can you tell me what happened in your apartment?"

Olivia shifted, her eyes opening once more to meet with his. He felt a lot better when she was looking at him, at least she didn't look dead.

"I don't… we had an argument…"

"Yeah, at the office… where'd did you go after that?"

Elliot wouldn't admit to interrogating her, but it was what he happened to be doing. He wanted to know who the bastard was that had dared to hurt her, because he would pay the man back with his own hands.

Olivia shook her head, still feeling disoriented. "I don't… I don't remember…"

Elliot frowned, hoping that it was just the drugs messing with her mind and not something else. The doctor hadn't mentioned anything about a head injury.

"I can't remember anything, El-"

"Hush… it's alright, Liv… it's alright.." he murmured softly. Elliot ran his fingers along her face, wanting to soothe away all of her pain and the bad feelings between them.

Now, he really did feel like an ass for not apologizing.


	3. Memories Are As Fickle As Relationships

Author: I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I didn't want it to give away anything for chapter three which I am currently working on. I'll make it extra long to compensate for such a short one. Anyways, a few songs that I think fit EO: _Anywhere_ by Evanescence, _Speeding Cars_ by Imogen Heap_, Feel The Silence_ by The Goo Goo Dolls_, _and _The Heart Won't Lie_ by Reba McEntire and Vince Gill. Look them up, yo, because they are my inspiration. Thanks for the reviews!

**Changes  
Two: Memories Are As Fickle As Relationships**

"She isn't remembering!" Elliot all but roared at the doctors that happened to be standing in the room. He'd hardly left the hospital since Olivia had been admitted almost a week ago.

Still she could not remember anything beyond leaving the precinct after her argument with him.

The doctors looked at each other. They were not scared, or even intimidated by Elliot anymore. However, this latest outburst seemed… different than the last. They all agreed that his patience had reached an end and it was his frustration lashing out.

"Mr. Stabler, we realize that you are upset-"

"Upset? Upset doesn't begin to cover-"

"Elliot."

The detective turned, pausing. Fin was standing in the doorway, looking between the doctors and his co-worker. He understood how upset Elliot was, but he didn't need to take it out on the doctors.

Olivia needed him.

"She's asking for you," was all he had to say.

Elliot disappeared from the room in mere seconds.

"Liv?" he questioned, stepping into her hospital room.

Olivia was sitting up, flipping through the newspaper that Fin had dropped off. She tilted her head, looking over at Elliot. She smiled a little, closing the paper and setting it off to the side.

"Any luck, El?"

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck before he shook his head.

Nothing.

She wasn't really that surprised.

"I'm sorry, Liv-"

"Don't apologize, Elliot… it's not your fault."

Truth was, even if it happened to be his fault, it's not like she remembered.

So, she wasn't lying to her partner, but for some reason she felt guilty.

Olivia wished she knew why.

"This is insane," Elliot ranted five hours later. He at Olivia's bedside, looking at his cell phone in slight disgust. Kathy had called over twenty times already, each voice mail sounding more threatening than the last. She wanted him home, because he wasn't married to Olivia, nor was he attached to her hip.

Kathy didn't know the half of it.

"Go home, El. I'll be fine." Olivia tried to soothe him, turning her head to look at him. His baby blue eyes were burning. He was more than upset with Kathy. He happened to be very angry, if the bulging veins meant anything.

Usually, they did.

"She'll understand. You need me here."

Truth was, Elliot didn't want to go home.

Olivia understood that, and so she didn't press the issue any further.

After all, she was only his partner.


	4. Speeding Cars

Author: This chapter is longer than the last, but not as long I would've liked it to be. I'm already working on chapter four, so that is a good thing in my mind. The next chapter, I plan for it to be big. Very big. So stay tuned! Anyways, I'm grateful for all of the reviews because they mean a lot to me and motivate me so much.

**Changes  
Three: Speeding Cars**

_Sleeping pills, no sleeping dogs lie never__  
Far enough away__  
Glistening in the cold sweat of guilt__  
I've watched you slowly winding down for years__  
You can't keep on like this  
Now is as bad a time as any - Speeding Cars: _Imogen_ Heap_

They were getting a divorce she had informed him on his voicemail while he was on a case.

Elliot smashed his cell phone without a second thought.

Olivia was still healing, so she didn't see this display of his anger. Fin, however, was left slightly speechless by the rage that poured off of Elliot in waves strong enough to drown every other emotion.

Neither said anything to Cragen when he asked why Elliot wasn't answering his phone.

Munch watched as Elliot stormed out of the precinct, even forgetting his jacket that hung casually over the back of his chair.

Everyone knew where he was headed.

Olivia was being transferred back home today.

She looked away from the window in her room, turning to the door when she heard it open.

Elliot was standing there, brooding intensity and all. His blue eyes were so dark, it looked as if a storm happened to be raging behind them.

From the way he was standing, Olivia wouldn't doubt it.

"Did you get a break in the case?" she asked. Of course, she would probably be the first to know.

She was one of two cases they were working on.

Cragen wouldn't let Elliot work hers.

Elliot shook his head, moving to take the seat that was stationed beside her bed.

"Not yet, Liv… but soon." he promised, even though both of them probably knew better. It could be months until they even found a lead on her attacker, and that was if she even did remember any of the details.

She hadn't expected anything else.

"They're letting me go home today."

Once again Elliot shook his head. His fingers were laced together as he laid his head down on top of his hands.

With his head bowed, Olivia couldn't make out the expression on his face.

That was probably for the best.

"Your home is still a crime scene, Liv. You can't go back there, not yet."

That wasn't his original sentence, but it worked well enough, he supposed.

"Elliot, I just can't stay here-"

"I never said you had to, Liv. Listen, move in with me-"

Well, that still wasn't what he had meant to say, but it didn't matter.

"Elliot, have you even talked this over with Kat-"

"She's not my keeper, Liv. I can do whatever the hell I want, and I want you to move in with me."

"But it's her house too, Elliot."

"Her house now, not mine." he all but growled out.

His head was still bowed down, hiding the multiple expressions that flashed across his face, twisting and distorting the features that Olivia knew so well.

His eyes, however, were still caught up in the storm that raged through his heart.

"Elliot… what aren't you telling me?" she asked softly when the silence started to become too much.

A sigh came from him, but it still took minutes before he replied.

"Kathy told me she wanted a divorce today. She left me a voicemail when I was out on a case with Fin."

If Olivia had ever hated Kathy, it had never been this much.

"El…"

"I'm fine," he responded, looking up at her.

His eyes were still dark, but the look on his face wasn't as tense.

"Are you sure-"

"I said I'm fine!" he snapped, narrowing his eyes slightly.

Olivia did nothing but look away.

A soft sigh came from her side, and soon she felt Elliot's hand wrap around hers.

"I'm sorry, Liv… I shouldn't snap at you."

She smiled at him. A trusting, relaxed smile. "You're upset, El. It's fine."

He nodded. He was upset, but he didn't need to snap at his partner. He did that way too much.

"So… you'll live with me?"

"El-"

"Don't say think it over. I've done that already. I'm serious about this offer, Liv."

One look at his face, and she couldn't deny him.

"Okay Elliot."

He smiled at her, the storm lifting from his eyes. She was all it took to make him happy.

"So you've been sleeping with her?" Kathy accused, holding Eli close to her body as she walked around the living room.

Elliot narrowed his eyes slightly, watching his soon to be ex-wife as she circled him. He had bought an apartment in Queens with two bedrooms. Olivia had one for herself, and he had one. It was only until she recovered fully and her own apartment became available again.

Kathy wouldn't believe him.

"We're not sleeping together. She's my partner and she needed a place to stay-"

"I'll be. Right in your bed-"

"Kathy!" his voice was loud. Sharp.

Eli started to cry in his mother's arms.

Elliot couldn't do this. Not now. Not ever.

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

He was storming out of the house before she could even reply.

Olivia could see that he was upset when he managed to make it back to their apartment. His face was red and his eyes were… sad.

"El?"

He wouldn't even look at her. Instead, he headed straight for the kitchen.

"Hungry?"

Olivia almost said no, but if saying yes got him to talk more, she would.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Chinese take out?" he asked, stepping back into the living room. He gave her one of his smiles.

"That sounds like a plan." she replied.

He wouldn't talk yet, she knew him better than that. It would take time… probably by the time that Chinese take out arrived.

"So, you talked to Kathy today?" Olivia asked as she opened her box of Chinese food.

Elliot paused, but nodded, opening up his own box as she moved to sit down on the couch beside her. He went to turn on the television, but when he felt her hand on his, he stopped.

This was the way they communicated.

"… she accused me of sleeping with you, Liv. She doesn't know me… she doesn't know us-"

"Perhaps that's why she accused you, Elliot. She doesn't know us, because she's been afraid too."

She was right.

Kathy didn't know them.

They were partners.

Friends. The best of friends, and she didn't understand that. Elliot didn't believe that she ever could understand.

She ran her thumb across the back of his hand, smiling at him. Elliot smiled back, finally turning on the television.

The two settled in, watching the newest episode of Grey's Anatomy. They were picking fun at it, but in the end it was something they enjoyed.

It made their guilt seem so much less…


	5. Feel The Silence

Author: I'm sorry that this is a very short chapter! I was going to add more, but it sounded ridiculous. This ending works, but I am hot on the tail of chapter five, so you shouldn't be waiting much longer. Thank you for all of the reviews~

**Changes  
Four: Feel The Silence**

_You lie awake at night__  
With blue eyes that never cry  
__All you remember now  
Is what you feel - Feel The Silence: The Goo Goo Dolls_

This isn't the life that Elliot had pictured for himself when Kathy had told him that she was pregnant all those years ago. He'd had dreams. Big, beautiful dreams, the kinds that most teenagers have.

However, at the word 'pregnant', he had calmly let those dreams go and accepted that he had something better. He had a family, and he would have a career, and things would be fine.

He would be fine.

As he watched Olivia sleep, he realized that he wasn't fine. He hadn't been fine then, and he wasn't fine now.

Perhaps, the only thing that made him fine, was Olivia. She was there for him when even his wife turned away and decided that he wasn't worth the effort.

He placed his head in his hands, closing his eyes. He wasn't going to cry now. She wasn't worth crying over, but the years… the years and the children and his lost dreams… those were things he could cry over without feeling so awful.

His anger, however, managed to keep everything at bay. Elliot didn't know how long it would last, but he knew that it wouldn't end anytime soon. The crash would come eventually.

"Elliot… are you alright?" Olivia shifted in the bed, looking over. Elliot was sitting in a chair by her bed, his head resting in his hands. Ever since he returned from his meeting with Kathy, it felt as if something had changed.

As if he had changed, and it wasn't something that she felt comfortable with. She could deal with 'impossible Elliot' and 'brooding Elliot', but this… she didn't know if she would be able to deal with a new Elliot.

"Sorry, Liv… did I wake you?" he asked, raising his head up to look at her. She shook her head, sitting up a little more. In the faint light from the moon that streamed in through the window, he could see the bandages around her abdomen and the brace on her right arm.

She shook her head, meeting his eyes.

"No Elliot… you're fine." she stated softly. He nodded, shifting in his chair.

"I should probably get some sleep… I have work in the morning." he mumbled. Olivia just nodded, watching as her partner got up and left her room.

She was worried about him, and this display had made it worse. Olivia felt like pounding Kathy's face in, but it would probably be best if she didn't.

The next time Elliot came home in a foul mood, Olivia didn't think she could take it. Fin had called, giving her a heads up that Elliot had practically been storming and stomping around the precinct all day after he had received a call.

Normally, she wouldn't be worried. She could deal with most of Elliot's moods, but apparently this one was new to Fin. He'd said that Elliot had tried to pick fights with every single person he'd come into contact with, and that included Cragen.

Whatever the phone call had been about, apparently it wasn't good. Olivia could only assume that it had been something to deal with the divorce.

After trying to start a conversation three times, being either yelled at or denied, she was ready to turn in the towel. It was just that ridiculous.

"I'm going to my bedroom, Elliot." she stated, starting to get up off of the couch. At first, she didn't think he was going to say anything. It wouldn't surprise her, if that ended up being the case.

However, she did get a surprise when he actually said something.

"… Liv, look… I'm sorry-"

She turned, looking over her shoulder at him. "Elliot-"

"Looks… things are gonna get pretty hectic… and I can't say right now… but it would help a lot if you didn't get mad at me."

Olivia sighed, but nodded. She might get aggravated, but she wouldn't get mad.

"Alright Elliot. I trust you."

Elliot never got to see the look on his partners face as she entered her room.


	6. Midnight Conversations

Author: Longer than the last chapter, but still short. Sorry! Anyways, I am working on chapter six now, so yay! I think this has to be one of the fastest stories I have ever written. Another song for everyone's EO playlist: _Gravity_ by Vienna Teng. Thanks for the reviews! The more reviews, the better the chapters, I believe.

**Changes  
Five: Midnight Conversations**

_The truth remains  
In midnight conversations  
I asked for this moment  
But you turned away - Feel the Silence: The Goo Goo Dolls_

Elliot was more than upset when he came home one night. Olivia was resting on the couch, watching House M.D. and wondering if such a testy man really existed, when the door opened and then slammed. She had looked up, trying to catch a glimpse of her partner.

It was late, around ten p.m. Usually he was home a lot earlier, but the cases were getting tough and the hours were doing the same. As much as she liked being able to rest, Olivia was hoping to return to work soon. Her arm was out of sling and into a brace permanently, and the lacerations across her body were merely scars now.

However, if work happened to be causing Elliot this much stress, she didn't know if she wanted to go back.

"Hard day at work?" she called out, shifting. She started to get up to find him, but Elliot came into the living room with Chinese take out boxes in his hands. He offered a small smile, moving toward the end of the couch that was unoccupied.

"No, not at work."

That left Kathy. It was unspoken between them, but she knew the truth without Elliot having to clarify. It was always Kathy now.

Always.

"She's already getting married again and I just signed the divorce papers two weeks ago. The court decided we get joint custody over the kids, but with my job, they'll mostly be staying with Kathy."

Olivia reached for the remote, flipping the television off as she turned to fully face Elliot. The room was suddenly silent, but neither occupant really seemed to notice.

"Elliot-"

"I went over there today, Liv, and I found that man in my- her house. He was in the bed with her… and I just… I almost lost it. I asked how long. How long had they been sleeping together behind my back. I was just upset, Liv… I didn't expect her to answer."

"… but she did," Olivia confirmed as this restrained look passed over his features. She could almost see every muscle in his body tense uncontrollably.

"Eli is almost a year old now. He's just a few months away from his birthday, ya know? She's been seeing this Jackson man for almost two years, Liv. Two fucking years, and then she says that Eli might not even be mine, she was never sure. She just assumed, Liv… she just assumed that beautiful baby boy was mine…"

His voice broke and he closed his eyes, feeling worse than he had before. When he'd been thinking all of it, the fact that it was reality had felt so… stranger. Now, confessing it to Olivia, everything fell down upon his shoulders and threatened to break him into small, unfixable pieces.

"Oh Elliot…"

He felt her shift on the couch just moment before his head was resting comfortable against her chest and her fingers were gliding through his short hair, consoling him. This was not close to their most intimate touch, but the situation… the setting was different.

It was personal, and not work related.

So they stayed that way, lying on the couch, with Olivia soothing him to the best of her abilities. Elliot deserved better, but when all else failed, he had Olivia and his job to keep him sane. After all, he'd once said that those were to two things he had going for him.

Nothing had changed.

He must've drifted off, because the next time he glanced at the clock it wasn't 10:30 p.m. Instead, it was almost midnight and the room was completely dark. His head was still resting on Olivia's chest, and her fingers were tracing soothing patterns along his neck now.

He closed his blue eyes again, content to lay there for a few more minutes.

Olivia, however, was lost in her own thoughts and didn't notice that Elliot wasn't asleep anymore. She was thinking about Kathy, and Elliot, and her job… and so many other things that it was becoming hard to make the distinction between them.

Elliot's heart was breaking and no one could stop it.

Kathy had divorced him and cheated on him.

She also had the children, and was apparently getting married again.

He also had to deal with her attack, and the fact that SVU had yet to find her attacker.

There were so many things stacked up against Elliot, and as they became a foreign wall for him to bust through, they seemed to be piling up around her as well.

This wasn't what she had pictured all those years ago when they first became partners.

They were the longest running team in the precinct, but none of that seemed to matter now.

What affected one, usually affected the other, and this was no exception.

She had been hurt, and he had hurt with her.

He was being torn to pieces, and she was breaking herself as she tried to put him back together.

Suddenly, the man in her arms shifted, and she was drawn back to the present situation.

"Elliot?" her voice was soft, calling out gently into the darkness.

What she had not expected, however, was the response she received.

Elliot didn't say a word. He didn't even nod to acknowledge that he was awake.

She felt his body shift again, and felt the cold start to settle in as he raised his head from her chest.

Leaning forward, she tried to see his face.

Instead, her lips met his in a hungry kiss.

Olivia was startled.

Elliot couldn't believe that he had kissed her.

He'd heard her call his name, and he had been ready to respond and move so that he wouldn't crush her anymore. However, something in his chest longed for more warmth… for more comfort.

He had instantly thought about Kathy, but it wasn't her that he needed. Instead, he was not surprised to see an image of Olivia fly across his closed eye lids. Beckoning.

Hearing her voice, feeling his body against hers… it had been enough.

Without thought, without a real motive other than keeping warm, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.

Her reaction was not expected. He felt her hand connect hard with his cheek, causing the skin there to smart.

She pulled back, and he heard her get up from the couch in a flurry of movement.

The next sounds he heard were her footsteps, and then the door to her room slamming shut.

Staring at the same spot on the couch almost five minutes later, Elliot couldn't believe that he had expected more from her.

He couldn't ignore that he had wanted more.

And, most of all, he couldn't ignore the pain that flowed from his cheek down to his heart with every painful beat.


	7. Gravity

Author: Sorry this took a little longer. I had a few papers to write for school, but here it is! It's short, but to the point. I want to know what you think, and your opinions. So please, review because it means a lot to me and helps me to get these chapters out faster.

**Changes  
Six: Gravity**

_Hey love  
That's the name we've long held back  
From the core of truth_

So don't turn away now  
I am turning in revolution  
These are the scars that silence carved  
On me - Gravity by Vienna Teng

A week after the impromptu kiss on the couch and she hadn't so much as looked in his direction whenever they bumped into each other. Elliot had attempted to make conversation, but she would just walk off or ignore him.

He didn't know what to say to her, anyways. He'd had an enormous amount of time to think in the solitude of their apartment, but nothing more than the words 'I need you, Olivia' came to his mind.

Elliot believed that those were not the words she wanted to hear, but he had to say something. If he didn't, he was pretty sure that he would go insane.

Olivia, on the other hand, had so much to say that she felt like bursting. That kiss on the couch had startled her more than she would like to admit, but it had also brought up the feelings she had tried to diligently to bury.

She'd been Elliot's partner for years, and his best friend for the majority of those years… and in love with him for more than half. Going away, getting a grip on her life, Olivia had believed that the feelings were gone. That perhaps she had been fooling herself when she said that she was in love with her married partner.

That kiss had caused all of those emotions to drift back up, and it made her feel vulnerable. It made her want to stalk right up to Elliot and pull his head down as she molded their lips together until the need to breathe was too much.

Alas, she was cautious when it came to this section of her life and she did not want to take chances. If things became unstable, she could lose so much that she relied on. Elliot, as her friend and her partner, and her job at the precinct. They were both things that she held onto for dear life, and it that meant keeping her emotions locked away, she could do it.

That kiss, however, made her entire being unstable. Did Elliot feel the same way about her? Was he just in need of more comfort and she was close? Did he think she was mental for being this way after a kiss on the couch that could or could not mean anything?

She was too afraid to ask, and she was still uncertain about everything right now to face him. Olivia couldn't go into this situation unprepared. It would be too much stress and effort, and she could lose herself to him.

That scared her. It always had, and a part of her believed that it always would.

Elliot rested his head in his hands, sitting just outside the door of her bedroom. His back rested against the wall as he lost himself to his thoughts. He still didn't know what to say to Olivia, but he was sure that he had to say something to her, or else there may be no end in sight to all of his tension.

However, he was unable to fight back the ideas that soared around his head. Was she upset that he had kissed her? Did she had feelings for him? Did he have feelings for her? Had he ruined the single best thing in his life? Well, there was only one way to find out.

She was startled when someone knocked at her bedroom door, although she was pretty sure that she knew who it was.

"Liv, open the door!" he called.

She paused, a thousand thoughts running through her mind's eyes in less than a minute. Olivia continued to stare at the door until he knocked again, becoming slightly impatient.

"Liv-"

Olivia wanted to hold off this inevitable meeting for just a little longer, but she knew that it wouldn't matter. They needed to have this conversation, and sooner was probably a lot better than later. At least moderately better, at any rate.

Olivia stepped forward, unlocking the door and then opening it. She stared into Elliot's face, immediately looking up into his blue eyes. The emotions there were muddled and not clear, but the blue was so intense that she was almost swept away.

"Liv, we have to talk."

Well, if that wasn't obvious and not at all subtle.

She nodded, stepping back to allow him entrance. Elliot paused only a moment before he walked into her bedroom, turning his eyes away immediately. He rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. He didn't know how to start this.

"Elliot, listen. We've been partners for years, and best friends for almost just as long. I know you probably didn't mean-" she didn't get to finish.

He was in front of her immediately, his lips brushing against hers once. Twice. He would've went for a third time if Olivia hadn't pushed him away gently.

"Elliot, we can't-"

"Don't tell me you can't feel it, Liv." he murmured softly. She looked away from him, turning her brown eyes to the floor. She didn't want to admit it. Not yet.

"Elliot-"

"I've been wanting you for longer than I can honestly admit to, Liv. You've been the one person I can count on for years and years. When I found you on that floor, I thought I was too late to save you. Then, Kathy couldn't handle me being with you at the hospital and she wanted a divorce. Then that was over and everything kept coming at me and I couldn't stop anything. My emotions were running rampant and I was always close to the edge… and then I seen you holding me when I woke up and everything became calm and fell into place."

Elliot stopped to take a deep breath, his hands clenched into fists at his side. Olivia was staring at him, stunned into silence. She didn't know what to say, or even how to say it. This… this wasn't supposed to happen.

"El-"

"I think I'm in love with you, Liv. Hell, I know I am." he stepped closer to her. She didn't move back this time. He relaxed a little.

"El-"

"Don't say no, Liv-" he stated, moving forward and pressing his lips to hers again. He didn't care if she pushed him away again, but he wanted to be clear. He did care for her and he wished that she cared for him.

Elliot pulled away after a moment, but he didn't stay. He left her room without a word. He was going to give her time. Time to think and to know exactly what she wanted.

Time.

Because when the time did come, he wanted her to be sure.


	8. Dear My Love

Author: I am so very sorry that this is so short, but I didn't feel right adding more to it. Actually, the end of this chapter was originally all I had written, and then I went up and filled in some more words and tada. I really am sorry, and I hope to have the next, longer chapter out soon! Now that I am watching more Law and Order: SVU, it should come to fruition easily.

**Changes  
Seven: Dear My Love [originally Anywhere]  
**

_Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me  
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free  
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you  
And at sweet night, you are my own  
Take my hand - Anywhere by Evanescence_

She didn't know what to say. She didn't even know that to do concerning this dilemma that she faced. He had kissed her. Repeatedly. He had told her that he loved her, and that he wanted to be with her.

Elliot had confessed to thinking about her since before his divorce, and Olivia didn't know what to do.

What did you do, when the man you had wanted for so long confessed the same desire that you felt?

Nothing.

That's what she had done, at least. She'd pushed him away, remained indifferent, and then just froze up at his confession.

Olivia didn't feel worthy. At least, not with her reactions. Didn't Elliot want something more?

This time he was the one asleep when someone entered his room. Olivia was silent as she shut the door behind her, turning to look at his sleeping form. For once he looked absolutely peaceful, the lines on his face relaxed as he slept. She smiled, moving to sit on the edge of his bed.

She let the past few days play over and over in her head, seeing his lips press against hers again… and again. Olivia smiled a little more.

Elliot might deserve someone better, but she was a very selfish person and wanted him all to herself. Now, she just had to tell him that.

Leaning over, Olivia brushed her lips against his, watching the way he shifted, fighting to blink his eyes open. Did he think it was a dream?

"El…" she murmured softly into his ear, pulling back and smiling as he opened his baby blues. Soon, a smile was spreading across his face as well, causing small wrinkles to appear.

Olivia wouldn't have it any other way.

"Did an angel kiss me, or was that a dream?" he asked softly, teasing. She leaned down again, brushing her lips against his once more. It was a gentle, slow kiss, that lasted no more than a few seconds.

The grin on his face instantly grew. "Both, I see."

She laughed softly, sitting up a little more. "It's not a dream, Elliot."

"I see you don't deny being an angel," he responded as he sat up as well.

For a moment, neither of them said a word. Elliot was caught up trying to analyze her behavior. He wanted to be certain of her affections before he did anything. Olivia, however, was wondering what he was doing. He was surprised by her slight advances, or was he already over his confession and done moving on?

She silently hoped that it was neither, because she had been waiting for this moment almost since the day she stepped into the Special Victims Unit and was partner with Elliot Stabler. Even though he was married, with children, she didn't care. He meant a great deal to her as a partner, then a friend, and then, it was more… a lot more.

So much more, in fact, that she could not speak of it. Sometimes, her feelings tainted her actions and she chose him over the job. He did the same, and she had always wondered if it happened to be for the same reasons.

Now, when everything was laid out on the table, she wondered how it would end.


	9. Anywhere

Author: I am very sorry that this chapter took so long to get out. My computer died, and I had to get a new one, and that is not even the half of it. Besides writing to a few other stories at this point in time, I have been a little busy and I hope for this to be a turning point in this story. It might be around twenty chapters, maybe shorter or longer. We will just have to see. I have an idea of where I am going with this, but if any of you have suggestions for Olivia's attacker, suggest them. You might be surprised with who it turns out to be.

**Changes  
Eight: Anywhere**

_I have dreamt of a place for you and I  
No one knows who we are there  
All I want is to give my life only to you  
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore  
Let's run away, I'll take you there - Anywhere by Evanescence_

His lips brushed against her neck as his arms pulled her closer to his body. A soft moan reached his ears as his fingers trailed along her stomach. He was smiling, his lips trailing down her neck and along her right shoulder.

"Good morning, babe."

She laughed softly, rolling over in his arms to look into his blue eyes. Elliot smiled at Olivia, brushing his lips against hers gently. They were resting in his bed on a Saturday morning, and there was no where else that either of them would rather be.

Of course, both of them expected that work would interfere. These last two weeks, it seemed that the Special Victims Unit was the only thing that kept them out of the apartment.

"Hey stranger," she stated after settling in his arms. Olivia kissed his chest gently, just relishing this moment with him. Unlike the majority of her life, her memories with him happened to be, for the most part, untainted. This would be one of those memories.

Elliot looked completely at peace, an expression that she had seen in ages. It caused her to smile, more than anything else would. Because, if he was happy, then in all probability, she was happy as well.

That was the way true partners worked.

Olivia shifted, leaning over Elliot to look at the clock. It was just eleven clock, but it seemed much later to her as she lay in bed with him. He smiled, moving to pull her down on top of his body…

The phone rang.

Elliot sighed, reaching over to grab his cell phone from the nightstand. Olivia watched him, curiosity lining her features.

"Stabler here."

Olivia couldn't hear the conversation, and therefore she could not anticipate Elliot's reaction. His body tensed under hers almost immediately as he shifted to sit up in the bed. His eyes were now dark blue, an intense look carved upon his face as he stared down at her. She was unsure as to what would make her partner change so fast, but when she heard Fin's voice on the phone and the word 'Olivia'.

It was about her.

Elliot wasn't on the phone for much longer before he closed it, his eyes still on hers. So, it hadn't been a good conversation. His body posture immediately gave him away, coupled with the dark color of his eyes. He was upset, and she had no idea why.

"Elliot, what's wrong?" she finally asked, moving so that she was sitting up in the bed beside him. For a long moment he was silent, wondering whether or not he should tell her. It was her business, but he just wanted to protect her. It's all that he had ever wanted to do and it always felt like he was being left behind as she rushed ahead.

Now, he had the same feeling, even though she didn't know what his conversation had just been about. His heart clenched, but he cupped her cheek gently.

"That was Cragen. They might've found a lead on your attacker." he whispered softly.

Olivia's body became rigid beside his. She was surprised, to say the least. It'd been about three months and there had been no prior leads… so what had suddenly changed?

She didn't know.

"… we should get down to the precinct, Liv." he pointed out softly

Olivia nodded.

Her life had taken so many changes lately, for the best. She had Elliot, and she had her job… she had a life that she was proud of. She was in love… but now… she was scared, and she would rather be anywhere than here.


End file.
